An open letter to the one I’ve lost

An open letter to the one I’ve lost

I can honestly say I never thought I’d be writing this letter to you. I never thought the day would come when I would actually have to say goodbye and would never see you on this earth again. Wow, it’s a lot harder than I thought it would be….um, yeah, give me a second.

There are so many things in my mind that I never got the chance to say to you. And now you’re gone and I don’t know if I’ll ever get a chance. I could spew a bunch of bullcrap about how I know you’re not really gone and how you’re looking down at me and how I’ll see you again someday. But that’s for cheesy cards (which are sweet, don’t get me wrong). What I really want to tell you is how much it hurts not to have you here. I’ve gone through so many big steps and it just sucks not to have you here. So many times things would happen and the first person I’d want to talk to it about was you, but you aren’t here anymore.

I’m not bitter or mad that I don’t have you anymore, I’m mostly just sad. We shared so many memories and laughs and I’m just going to miss you a ton. That’s all. I’m gonna miss hearing your voice and laugh. Seeing your smile and how you were with all of us. I’m gonna miss your words of wisdom everyday and just being around you.

They tell me it’ll get easier, but when? Because it’s been a while and I still feel like there’s a part of me missing. I know you’re not hurting anymore and I know you’re so much better now, but I feel like when you passed away you took a part of me with you. I still talk to you in my head sometimes you know. Yup, when I feel lost or alone or sad or ticked off I talk to you. Because I know that if you were still here you’d know what to say.

I guess I just really miss you right now and that’s why I’m writing to you. As I start all these new adventures I just wanted you to know that I’m always thinking about you and wishing you were still with us. We all miss you a ton, but I think I miss you the most.

I miss and love you. Fly high angel.

Love, me

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